


Skin

by BlackSoulStar



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Trans Male Character, progress - Freeform, trans yaku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:11:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8597458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackSoulStar/pseuds/BlackSoulStar
Summary: "Yaku looked in the mirror and saw his reflection - he hated his reflection more than anything. He had long brown hair that went past his shoulders, a slender figure, he had curves. He had a high voice. Everyone called him a girl. And that was the worst part. He hated being called a girl. The worst thing was, he was born"This is a story of Yaku being trans through his 3 years at high school in response to Trans Week.





	

Yaku Morisuke hated lying to his parents. He hated keeping things from them, especially when they were so open with him. He hated the secrecy. He honestly hated it. He looked in the mirror and saw his reflection - he hated that more. He had long brown hair that went past his shoulders, a slender figure, he had curves. He had a high voice. Everyone called him a girl. And that was the worst part. He hated being called a girl. The worst thing was, he was born a girl. He had girl bits. He didn’t look like a guy at all and yet he wanted more than anything to be a guy. He wished he was born a guy.

 

He hated who he wasn’t.

 

His mother knocked on his door and popped her head round the door. She saw her daughter lying on her bed, tears trickling down her eyes.

 

“Mum, can I tell you something?” Yaku asked. He didn’t realise that he had been crying, but when he felt his cheeks, they were damp. He had googled it. He was a guy. He was always a guy. He didn’t want to say the T word. He was scared of such a word, such a label. His mother noticed how sad her daughter looked and shouted for her husband.

 

Maiko never cried. Her daughter was a strong girl. She wasn’t the one to cry. Not ever. She watched as tears streamed down her little girl's face. She could see that something was eating at her. They way Maiko acted. The way she shook when she spoke. Her daughter looked distressed.

 

Yaku’s mother walked over to him and put a hand against his long hair and run her long slender fingers through it. She rubbed soothing circles into his hair until Yaku’s father came in looking just as worried. He thought the same.

 

His baby girl wasn’t okay.

 

“Maiko what’s wrong?” His mother asked. He bit his lip not sure on what to say. How was he supposed to say it?

 

“I don’t like my hair. I don’t like my face. I don’t like who I am because this isn’t me. Mum, dad,” tears trickled into his mouth and he had to lick his lips to deal with them. “I was born in the wrong body. This isn’t who I am. I’m a guy,” he cried harder. He was not a female. He was a male. He felt a small weight off his chase but the way his parents stared at him, made him hurt more.

 

His parents were silent for some time. Unable to speak. They were shocked. Yaku forced himself to look at them and behind his tears he could see their stunned faces. His father looked furious. His mother seemed like her soul had left her body. He took a shaky breath. “I want to get treatment. I want to be a guy. I want to get testosterone. I want to have top surgery. I don’t want to live this life as Maiko,” his father walked out the room after that.

 

“Do you have another name one you want us to call you by?” Yaku smiled and wiped away his tears from his face with his cardigan. His mother was trying to make him feel better and was trying to understand him.

 

“I kind of want to give it back to you, but I quite like Morisuke. It’s similar to Maiko,” 

 

“Morisuke,” she said it softly, “Morisuke, tell me more about this. I don’t understand it. How can I help?” Morisuke looked around his room. It was pink. He hated his room. He hated the colour pink. It was a symbol of being a girl. Guys don’t have pink rooms.

 

“Can I paint my room?” He asked simply. It was a start.

 

“What colour. Are you going to say blue?” Yaku laughed softly. He was going to say blue. He wanted it blue and white. He had drawn what he wanted out. He went over to his paper drawer and found the drawing and handed it to his mother. She looked it over with a smile.

 

“Anything else?”

 

“Well, I do want top surgery. I want to cut my hair. I want testosterone. I want to be me. I want a binder,” His mother took a sharp breath.

 

“Maiko- Morisuke...let’s start slowly. Is this what you want? You won’t regret this choice,” Morisuke shook his head frantically.

 

“This isn’t a phase. Mum, I want to be male. Please understand,” His mother stood up and went over to his stationary drawer and picked up a pair of scissors. She took a deep breath, her hand shaking, she picked up her daughters - sons long brown locks and chopped it off just after the hair tie so that it stayed close together.

 

Yaku gasped as his hair was chopped off with a pair of scissors, “Oh dear, that was an accident,” she winked. “Better take you to the hairdressers,” she smiled softly. She felt tears trickle down her face. She had just lost her daughter. Her daughter no longer existed and she felt like she had to mourn her. Now she had a beautiful son to love just as much and her son loved her just as much.

 

Yaku smiled cheerfully and followed his mother out the door, grabbing his shoes and putting on a black hoodie and a pair of loose pair of jeans. The two headed out into the frigid air of January. The two walked to the closest barbers. Yaku was so excited.

 

“Hi, this sounds so silly but I was cutting some paper and well it got cut in my son's hair which was pretty long and well it needs to be fixed,” his mother gestured to him and his bad haircut. The hairdresser gasped and got Yaku seated.

 

“Yes, what style do you like,” he asked pointing to various styles. He asked for a number 14, which was this shaggy kind of hair that was closely chopped but still gave someone enough hair to run fingers through.

 

“Good choice,” after about ten minutes was the man done with his hair and Yaku looked into the mirror and could see his true self peeking out. He smiled widely. He never looked more like himself that he did right now.

 

After the hair, Yaku was allowed to walk around on his own for a while, allowing his mother to see his father and discuss some matters with him. Yaku found himself calling his best friend Kuroo. Kuroo was a part of the men’s volleyball team and Yaku was reluctantly apart of the girl's team. He was the libero.

 

Yaku sat on the swings waiting for Kuroo to show up. When he did, he looked around the empty playground for his friend who had said he would be here. Yaku waved him over. Kuroo stopped and stared at him for a few second before running over to Yaku and slipping onto his lap and they swung back and forth.

 

“You told them then?” Kuroo asked, one hand running through his short hair, his other holding onto the cold chain of the swings. “So what are we called now?”

 

“Morisuke. My name is Morisuke,” Yaku spoke proudly. 

 

“Morisuke. I like it. Very you,” he smiled kindly at his friend. The two swung like that for a few moments enjoying the silence and swinging back and forth.

 

“Well, this should be a good time to tell you that I like Kenma. You know my friend that will be coming up in April. I like him. A lot,” Kuroo admitted, smiling meekly to his friend.

 

“I haven’t said the T word yet. I don’t like it. I don’t know. I know I am. I know that I am in that community but I still don’t want to admit it,”

 

“Say it. I’ll shout the G word. Come on,” Kuroo encouraged. “It’s just a label. I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay,” he repeated over and over again making Yaku laugh loud, his head resting against his chest.

 

“My dad is angry. I told him and he walked out,” Kuroo stopped speaking and stopped swinging and wrapped both arms around his friend.

 

“He’ll come around. He will. He loves you. He’s just in shock. His little girl is no longer his little girl. He now has a son. I know it was hard for you to tell them and I am so proud of you for doing it, but give them some time. They may just get used to it,” Yaku hoped he was right. He prayed to god that he was right. At this point, he was unhappy with god. He put him in the wrong body. He had failed. He could make it up to him by letting his father come round, to make his transition from Maiko to Morisuke as smooth as possible. He owed him that much. Right?

 

Kuroo took a deep breath, the air was nipping his skin and he didn’t really dress for the cold weather. He looked at Yaku and gave him a smile, “Guess we have a new Libero on our team now,” Kuroo grinned. Kuroo always so saw the good in anything and everyone. He was a good person. Yaku knew he was the friend he needed at this moment in time. As they swung. Yaku pushed his feet off the ground and the two began to rock back and forth. Yaku laughing at how Kuroo was startled by such movement. Yaku laughed louder as Kuroo pushed off and Yaku went swinging backwards while Kuroo rocked forward.

 

The two laughed harder as they rocked back and forth.

 

“So does Kenma know about you liking him?” Yaku asked as they continued their gentle movements on the swing.

 

“Nah. I don’t know how to bring it up. I want to know if he likes me back before I ask of at least an 80% chance that he does. I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” Kuroo spoke honestly. Yaku smiled at him. He was definitely a good person. 

 

The two swung gently on the swing until their hands were cold and their bums numb. Yaku asked if he wanted to come round to his and Kuroo happily agreed to come over and even stay over.

 

As the two rounded the house they watched as Yaku’s father walked out, with a suitcase. He didn’t spot Yaku and Yaku was glad that he didn’t. The two continued onwards and walked in. He could hear sobbing and he walked into the living room to see his mother crying on the couch.

 

“Is this because of me?” he asked, taking a seat next to his mother and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his embrace. He knew that it was his fault. He took a deep breath and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

 

“Maiko- Morisuke. This isn’t your fault. Don’t think that. It’s not your fault,” she looked up to see Kuroo standing awkwardly at the door.

 

“Is this a boyfriend?” she asked eyeing him through her red puffy eyes. Kuroo smiled nervously at him.

 

“No. He’s a friend from school,” Yaku’s mother smiled meekly at him. She then pressed her lips to her son's face. “We’ll be in my room,” Yaku led Kuroo up the stairs and into his pink room. He hated the colour of it. He couldn’t wait to get the blue on it.

 

Kuroo took a seat on his pink sheeted bed and pulled Yaku down with him, Yaku lying on his chest. “You doing okay?”

 

“I think my dad has just left us and it is my fault,” Yaku buried his head into Kuroo’s chest. His chest was flat, the way he wished his was. He was only 16 so he assumed there was still more to grow but he did seem to have a large chest. Yaku found his hand roaming over Kuroo’s.

 

“Dude, why are you doing this?” he asked watching as Yaku hands massaged his chest. Yaku was silent for a moment. He liked being called “dude”. It had a nice ring to it.

 

“Just admiring a flat chest,” he spoke softly. Kuroo unzipped Yaku’s hoodie and his chest seemed to spill out of him. He could see the bra that Yaku had on. It was plain white. He had a black cardigan on and underneath was a simple strappy top that showed off his breasts.

 

“Damn...Morisuke. You do have a good rack on you,” he laughed half-heartedly. He wanted to see them. He was just curious. They were both guys. It wasn’t a problem right. Yaku could see Kuroo blushing as he looked at his larger chest.

 

“No. I hate them,” Yaku got off of Kuroo and curled into his side, he slowly fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

Yaku returned to school three days after. Everyone didn’t recognise him at first. He had his hair cut short and he no longer wore the white skirt with the black shirt and red tie. He no longer wore long stockings or small black pumps on his feet. He now wore a white shirt with a red tie and the black slacks. He also enjoyed wearing a black cardigan. Mens ones. Ones that were straight down. He had gotten rid of half his female clothes, giving them to charity shops.

 

After lunch word had gotten round that Maiko was Morisuke and that he was transgender. His mother had gotten his name changed from Maiko to Morisuke. It didn’t matter as much as most people called him Yaku anyway.

 

Kuroo always stayed by his side. If Yaku needed help from the older ones who tried to bully him they would be sorted quickly. The girls looked after him as well. They looked after him. They were good to him and they talked a lot. One girl suggested he go to a group to discuss his changes. He liked that idea.

 

Kuroo started dating Kenma in the second half of his second year. Yaku had met a male from the transgender group. He was starting off at the same time as him. His name was Akaashi. Yaku knew him vaguely. He was going to Fukurodani and enjoyed volleyball as well. The two grew close

 

Just before his third year began in April, he was finally given testosterone. It was his happiest day. His father didn’t return for him. He didn’t care. They divorced not that long after.

 

Yaku was finally getting comfortable with himself, his voice lowered, he grew hair in places he didn’t really think hair would grow. He let his leg hair grew out and also enjoyed letting his downstairs grow out. Though he did want to trim it for when he got his blasted period and the blood would get stuck.

 

Yaku was on his way to school when he saw a tall male who looked rather attractive. He was long and slender and was crouching down to play with a ginger cat. It was purring as the male stroked his chin. 

 

The tall male looked at him with a gentle smile, “Hello,” he smiled. Yaku felt his cheeks burn. He liked him.

 

Yaku waved nervously him, then rushed into the school grounds where he was greeted with some girls. He felt his phone buzz, then buzz again and again and again. He pulled his phone out to see texts from Akaashi, the male that attends the transgender group.

 

From Akaashi:

**Have you had sex yet?**

 

**I need to know**

 

**I don’t know how to ask at the group. Please I need to know**

 

Yuku frowned as he looked at the messages. What a weird question to ask. He sighed then pulled out his phone

 

_ To Akaashi:  _

_ No, I haven’t. I haven’t dated anyone yet. What’s the issue? _

 

Yaku continued his walk in, some girls linking his arms with him as he walked. They treated him like their gay friend which he didn’t mind too much. He did enjoy speaking to them. His phone buzzed in his pocket once again.

 

**From Akaashi:**

**Damn. I’m not sure what to do during it. I need help.**

 

Yaku rolled his eyes, the girls were talking about the new boys that looked cute. The girls he was attached to were on the girl's volleyball team and had major crushes on Kuroo or Kenma. He understood the appeal.

 

He followed them to class and took his seat on Kuroo’s desk and swung his legs round to speak to him, “There is a seriously hot male that looks like he’s transferred,” Yaku began. The two had grown insanely close and were even rumored to be a couple. Yaku thought it was because the two spoke like this in the morning.

 

“How hot?”

 

“Like 8 or 9 out of 10,” Yaku grinned. He was thinking of the male from earlier. He didn’t look Japanese. He looked foreign. European maybe. He looked very different.

 

“Why not 10 out of 10?” Kuroo chuckled.

 

“I don’t know his personality yet,” Yaku chuckled as well. Kuroo laughed louder and louder. The day began and Kuroo and Yaku were heading to the changing room. They were discussing game techniques for next week. They had this policy to accept anyone and everyone into the club, didn’t mean they would play in proper games.

 

Yaku got changed next to Kuroo, quickly changing his top had become a skill. He changed his bottoms which weren't as bad. He wore boxers and he was always a little about self-conscious about his lack of a bulge, especially when he could see that Kuroo’s bulge seemed to be rather big. He wanted to be Kuroo some days. He wished he could be him, the full package.

 

Kuroo noticed his friend staring at his underwear. He never said anything but nudged him nonetheless to get him to look away. Kuroo would speak to him later. The three: Kuroo, Yaku, and Kenma walked into the hall together. They saw some young ones standing in the hall. Yaku’s eyes widened when he saw the tall male that he had seen earlier.

 

“My name is Lev Haiba. Please call me Lev,” he introduced himself.

* * *

 

Yaku enjoyed having Lev around. The two came close together, even sharing a kiss one evening when they were walking home. Four months later, Lev asked Yaku out. He said yes. Yaku liked Lev a lot. He made fun of his height constantly which awarded him a kick to the ass but he was a nice person.

 

“So where’s your dad?” Lev asked as they walked into Yaku’s blue room.

 

“He left me and my mum a few years ago. I never really got a reason,” Yaku was the reason. Lev didn’t pry more into it, knowing that it was a sensitive issue.

 

“Yaku-san. You have a nice room. It’s so fresh in here. So organised,” Yaku smiled. His mother, Kuroo and he had enjoyed painting over the pink walls. He enjoyed getting rid of the pink sheets. He loved it when he came home from school to find those sheets gone and plain blue ones lay on his bed. He loved seeing some of his things being replaced. He loved seeing his fluffy white rug go, which was replaced with a simple black one. He loved seeing less and less girly stuff in his house.

 

Yaku was still slightly conscious of his room. It still felt girly to him. It smelt girly. Like it didn’t smell like a guy room. He had air fresheners and candles - but he liked that smell. He liked his room smelling good.

 

“Yaku can I ask a personal question?” Lev asked sheepishly. Yaku nodded. He was going to ask about him being transgender.

 

“How do you get rid of your morning wood. It comes every morning and I need to wake up earlier to deal with it,” Yaku blinked. Once. twice. What the heck was a morning wood? He stared at him for a few moments.

 

“What's that?” he asked.

 

“You know. When you wake up hard,” Lev didn’t know. Lev didn’t know! He was going slightly red.

 

“Just gotta deal with it. I don’t think there is much you can do. Would you like a drink?” Lev nodded his head and Yaku took off down the stairs. He grabbed the house phone and dialed Kuroo’s number.

 

Before Kuroo could speak, as soon as Yaku heard the click he spoke, “He doesn’t know,” he hissed down the phone.

 

“Huh. Yaku? What’s wrong?” Kuroo asked.

 

“Lev just asked me about how to deal with boners in the morning. He doesn’t know that I am trans,” He hissed once again. He wasn’t angry at Kuroo. He was scared. What would happen if Lev found out and in the end hating him for keeping it a secret, for not telling him.

 

He liked Lev.

 

He liked him a lot.

 

How did he not know he was transgender. Literally, everyone talked about it. Lots of people referred to him as the ‘trans guy’ He answered to the name. How didn’t he know? Yaku sighed and hung up, grunting to Kuroo then headed back up the stairs with two bottles of drinks and handed one to Lev who was looking at his photo shelf that had various photos of his family. Maiko being in some of this photos. He never mentioned it to him and took a seat on his bed and Lev sat beside him and kissed him softly on the lips.

 

“I was just admiring your photos. You look so young in some of them. You don’t have many of you when you were younger,” Lev mused to himself. He leaned back and the two were kissing again, their lips smacked against one another. Yaku lifted his leg up and was rested it upon Lev’s lap. The two ended up falling back, their lips still attached together, Lev lying on the pillow, Yaku on top of him.

 

Lev moved his hands down to Yaku’s ass and gripped it softly making him moan gently against his mouth. Yaku grinned and moved into kissing him deeper. Lev’s hand traveled down his body until it cupped his crotch. Lev frowned and Yaku realised what was bothering him. He completely forgot about the fact that he didn’t have a penis.

 

“Erm...Yaku-san….where’s your dick?” he asked and pulled back in fear. Yaku gasped and sheepishly moved away from Lev. Lev looked horrified.

 

“I thought you knew. I’m sorry. I should have told you. Lev, I’m transgender,” Lev stared at him for a few moments then his eyes widened in shock. He understood now. Now he was going to run away like his dad did. He was going to leave him and hate him for life.

 

“So I was touching your…” Lev couldn’t finish that statement.

 

“Lady bits. Yeah. I’m sorry,” Lev didn’t speak after that and remained silent and was just looking at him, like he was looking through him, trying to find the person he used to be and or hated. He hated being stared at by Lev. Lev moved forward and pushed Yaku’s legs apart and slowly began to pull his trousers down.

 

“Lev, wait, say something,” Lev looked up at Yaku and smiled gently. Yaku felt his heart calm down. He didn’t hate him. He felt relief wash over him.

 

“I’m sorry. Okay. I’m fine. It’s cool. I’m a little curious to what is going on down there. Can I?” Yaku took a deep breath and took Lev’s hand.

 

“Can you kiss me first,” Lev smiled and leaned back down and pressed his lips against Yaku’s. Yaku felt better as he kissed Lev. He liked feeling his lips against his. He enjoyed that nothing had changed and continued to kiss. Lev grabbed at Yaku’s trousers and pulled them down swiftly.

 

“Warning next time,” Yaku hissed as his cold bare legs lay against Lev’s clothes trousers. Yaku reached down to pull down Lev’s trousers and boxers, Lev met him halfway and finished the job for Yaku. He kicked them off at the end, his lower half completely naked.

 

“I’m not ready,” Yaku blurted out. Lev started at him for a few seconds, watching as Yaku’s face glowed red. Yaku took a deep breath then put a hand on his chest. It was flat. He smiled.

 

“What are you not ready for?” Lev asked, kissing his neck. Yaku found his legs wrapping around Lev’s waist and slowly ground his hips into him. He wasn’t ready! He shouldn’t be teasing. Hew had to control himself but he was just so happy that Lev accepted him, fully.

 

“Sex, intimate stuff. I don’t really want you prodding down there,” Yaku blushed. He enjoyed grinding on him, though. He jerked his hips into Lev’s and he moaned against his mouth. He just said. He felt Lev put a hand against his hip and squeezed gently. 

 

“Fu- If you don’t want sex, can I ask you to stop,” Lev laughed, kissing his neck, once twice, again and again, till Yaku was thrusting his hips again. Lev groaned and thrusted his hips into him. He couldn’t help it. He loved the friction.

 

“We need to stop. Otherwise-” Lev couldn’t speak. His thoughts were being flushed every time Yaku’s warm body rubbed against his lower half. He was hard. Damm. He was so hard. He flipped them over, Lev now hovering over Yaku. Lev took his boyfriend’s hand and brought it up till his hand was resting against him. He didn’t flinch from it. That was a good side.

 

Yaku began to stroke him. He felt him get hard in his hand. Lev smiled at him, “So the girl in your pictures was  you,” Lev asked referring to the shelf of framed photos.

 

“I’m not a girl, Lev. I’m a guy. Yes, I look more feminine but Lev, don’t say that I am a girl or anything. I’ll let that one pass,” Lev bent down and kissed Yaku’s nose.

 

“I’m sorry. So that person was you? You were a very cute child,” Lev kissed his cheek. Yaku smiled.

 

“Yes, that’s me. I keep them as a reminder of how far I’ve grown and changed,” Lev smiled at the photos. He had changed quite a lot then. Yaku fastened his pace against Lev.

* * *

Yaku walked into school with a little skip in his step. Last night had been perfect. Lev knew and they continued to kiss and go a lot further than he had ever done before. He had a few bruises on his neck, which his girl friends noticed quickly. They knew he was dating Lev and asked if everything went okay. It was a rhetorical question. They knew how it went. Yaku walked into homeroom and skipped over to Kuroo and grinned happily.

 

“Lev knows but we continued to make out anyway. Then he said he loved me and I’m just a puddle right now,” he laughed cheerfully. Kuroo raised his head and smiled happily at his friend. He had never seen him so happy. He was happy that his life was working out for him. He thought that his life was finally going up and nothing was going to stop him.

 

He looked at his friend. He could see the “girl” that he used to be. He could remember Maiko on her first day. How nervous she was, how she played with her hair but then realised what she was doing then threw it over her shoulder. It had hit him in the face. She turned and apologised then introduced herself.

 

Now here was Morisuke, who was smiling from ear to ear because the person that he loved knew he was transgender but loved him anyway. He couldn’t have been more proud for him. He wanted Yaku to have a good life and two years ago when his father walked out, he wasn’t so sure he was going to get it, but now, he could only see happiness for him.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something that wasn't You've Got Time.


End file.
